NotStopping

Heading Back Down

 Well, after once again maxing out near my all-time high weight, I am headed back down again. I don't know why I let myself go until I hit that crisis point before turning around, but it feels much better to be losing weight than it does to be gaining it. My body physically feels much better. 

I am trying to focus on wise eating choices and clean eating. Kathy has been feeling extra fatigued, so I'm trying to prepare food for her and the whole family that will be dense in micronutrients and antioxidants, such as berries, raw nuts, and lots of leafy green veggies.

I don't have much else to say other than it is embarrassing to be here once again, into the month of May, and to be starting over again for the most part. But I'm swallowing my pride and continuing to write about the journey.





Famous Last Words

The things that make me sick, tired and over weight are the same things that make me feel stuck, depressed and stranded. When I eat better and when I move more, I feel much better in every regard. My skin is clearer, my sleep is better, and my energy is higher. I feel "cleaner." When I eat poorly and am sedentary, I feel tired, unmotivated, and just plain "blah." 

But there are not easy fixes or magic quick answers. Just as I'm learning about many things in my work life and in relationships, it is the longer-term, day to day consistency that is what pays off. And so it is for my health. I can't afford to let myself continue to be trapped in the lies that try to pull me down. I have got to take the time each day to eat nutritious food, whether that means buying it or making it. I've got to take the time to walk and stretch my muscles and work my heart. I've got to take time to continue learning about nutrition so that I stay motivated, and I need to record my struggles and my progress each day.





Starting Again

I've fallen prey to the same traps that have consumed me in the past. After getting started again, I've failed to do the things that keep me focused in the right direction. Snacking on something extra turns into eventually eating whatever I want, ignore the clean eating principles that have helped me so much. And failing to track the good foods I eat, failing to study each day about nutrition or fitness to keep it on the top of my mind, and failing to write each day about the progress keep me from being mindful about what I'm doing and result in slowly slipping away and ceasing to remember.  

I'm finally feeling nearly 100% after recovering from pneumonia. I lost my appetite entirely when I was so sick. But as I've begun to feel better, it has returned to fully capacity. Another lesson learned: while I felt sick, I delighted in losing weight and not eating much. I'd sometimes miss two of three meals. And I wasn't eating all of the good stuff I should. But I felt like saying "who cares? I'm losing weight, aren't I?" Well, the problem is my body, which had been used to a flood of nutritious food and antioxidants, then experienced a shut-down of the flow of nutrition. I may have lost weight, but I started to starve my body of the nutrients it needed. That not only compromised the health and healing of my body, but it pulled me further and further from sound nutritional principles, leaving me to languish in the world of moderately-healthy food, or even unhealthy food. 

So, in some ways I hate to say it, because I wish it were not the experience, but here I am starting again. But in other ways I'm glad to say it, because it means I am starting again and that hope is in sight of feeling better in terms of energy and clean eating. 





2/29/16

Well, here is to starting over again. This past week was somewhat disasterous. I felt like I was still trying to catch up on sleep throughout it, and didn't give my best effort to consume healthy, Daily Dozen type foods, nor to record what I was doing each day, nor to stay involved with reading new things about nutrition. As a result, the first day or two were ok and then it became progressively worse throughout the week. Too much sugar, not enough nutrition. Too much sodium. But, despite this setback, I am ready to recomit and reconnected to the clean eating lifestyle.

The good news is my weight, after a week of feeling out of it and depressed, is the same as when I started after returning from vacation, so I am thinking of it as the lost week that I can now move on from. It is frustrating, or I guess I should say, I am frustrating. But I am moving forward.





1/27/16

Today was a day of meetings. I started the morning with an Acai smoothie and headed into the meetings. Had lunch with Bishop Remer at Taco Bell, which is a challenging place to go and eat anything nutritious. I had a pintos and cheese (yellow), a bean burrito (yellow) and water. More than the nutritional content, I am concerned about the amount of sodium -- had to be a huge amount.   





1/21/16

Once again, I didn't eat very well today. Less in terms of choices of food and more in terms of timing and quantity. I had a breakfast shake when I woke up (which ended up being around lunch time because I woke up just in time for a 9am meeting and didn't have time to make anything before the meeting). Then I didn't eat anything until dinner because I was too tied up in meetings and work. So I was pretty hungry while heading into dinner and only had taken in a few hundred calories so far. While making dinner, I felt more of a tendency to eat from what I was cooking, without fully paying attention to what it was I was eating. So, I think I ate more things that I wouldn't have normally eaten, mostly because I wasn't paying enough attention to it.  

And then once dinner was ready, I didn't eat anything but an orange. So, I found myself hungry again around 9:30pm and thought I ought to just get to bed. But instead, I came out to the kitchen and did what I have a bad habit of doing--grabbing food and sitting down to watch or read something so that I tune out as to what I am eating. I ate things that were OK to eat -- sprouted grain bread, jam sweetened only with fruit juice, and hummus. But I ate too much while I was zoned out -- I ate 3 pieces of bread and like half the jar of jam. I know that fruit juice can be just as harmful as regular added sugar, so I try to limit my intake of things like fruit-sweetened jam. But not when I am mindlessly eating. In the end, I ate way too much food, and part of that was because I hadn't properly eaten during the day itself. When I do this, I am more foggy-brained than normal and have low energy levels.